A poem for Singapore

Singapore is a model civilization, or is it?

A poem for Singapore

Come ye back, ye migrant workers.
Indian laborers and Chinese drivers.
Philippino maids And Myanmar construction workers.

Come and drink lots of Sling.
But don’t sniff Coke in small quantity as we have 24/7 Sting (Operations).
For small is severely punishable here.

Want to route your narcotics through the Straits?
No problem. Just get a broker to arrange secure freight.

Politics is F-A-M-I-Lee Affair.
Wealth is best kept in one extended family.
Don’t forget Father always knows best.

But no, the Nunny State won’t change your diapers,
Or feed you on food stamps.
Welfare is for the Lazy.

Chewing gums are un-welcome here.
Sir, Ma’m, crates of your (drug) money are OK-La.
We will happily launder it for you: just ask Burmese customers.

Don’t you dare commit street crimes, or be un-kind to our ruling f-a-m-i-LEE
Lest your masochistic skin craves caning.

Do try suite crimes, these men will name an orchid after you! How Kind!
Again ask the Burmese.

Clark Quay is full of laundered businesses, again Myanmar-men will tell you.
Beware 20,000 taxi drivers will report you to our Intel(ligence),
If you cut the ‘terrorist’ profile.

If you are migrant maids, don’t you dare fall in love and produce a child.
Love and labourers don’t go together, just bear in mind.
But we don’t give our locals a flat – unless they get wedded.

Be prepared to drink pints of your own recycled piss.
We are a nation of ruling Paranoids.
Our aim in life is to survive.

But live mindfully, my friend.
Emptiness is good for you!

Spirituality? That, you can’t buy on Orchard Street.

Guns and arms? Yes, We the Government has plenty to sell.
You’ve got talents in making weapons? Marry our women.
We believe in Eugenics.

Academic freedom? Yes, of course.
Education is a business in and of itself.
We commodify scholarly freedom.
IQ must be upheld. But democracy would be a living hell!

Compassion for others? No such word for it in Singlish-la.

Substance-less Arrogance? Ask the LKY School Dean who wears it on his sleeves.
Can he think or feel? Doesn’t seem capable.

Alas, neither thoughts nor feelings are officially permitted.
Winston Smith is our model man.
We guide our citizens on how and what to think.
We sponsor art. Heard of state-sponsored graffiti?
We encourage smiles as a national policy.
Yes, our masses will smile for you, tourists. Smile for MONEY!

Aren’t we a model civilization?


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